Gift-giving is a common practice on Valentine’s Day. You’ve got your standard dozen roses, love coupons, chocolate box, heart-shaped balloons, and both cheap and pricey jewelry. But do you really know what any of that is saying about who you are as a man?
Today, we are going to explain exactly the message you could be planning to send your sweetie – because it may not be as “sweet” as you thought.
Nothing
She may say that she doesn’t do Valentines’, and you may believe her sincerity. But once the gifts start rolling into her friends, you’re going to look like a real a**. This is the time that you create a new holiday (maybe a week or so before or after) so that she can still claim she hates Valentines, but at the same time, gloat to her friends about what a great guy you are.
Love Coupons (a.k.a. the Old Bait and Switch)
Perhaps the best way to describe this gift is to look at the life of the perpetual bachelor, the hanging fly. He spends days looking for the largest and juiciest bug to bring to his Valentine. And it just so happens that female hanging flies love juicy dead bugs, so when he knocks on her door, she is so excited about her gift, she practically throws herself at him. However, once he gets what he came for, he packs up his bug, rolls it out the door, and heads over to the next available female.
The human equivalent to this technique is a promissory note that you don’t intend to keep, such as a coupon for a night on the town or a trip to Paris. Beware of these Trojan horse gifts, as in today’s modern world of social media, your cheapness and insincerity will always proceed you.
Flowers, Fake Fur, and Cavities
Flowers, stuffed animals, chocolate, and in some cases even bacon, are not the most original of gifts, but they are hard to mess up. These say that your relationship is in its beginning stages. While you may not know the recipient all that well, you are at least offering the simple message that you like them enough to do more than nothing, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Fashion
According to surveys, the majority of women (that’s 29 percent to you and me) will be happiest with a personal gift, such as an article of clothing. The important point is that in order for a gift to be personal, the gift must demonstrate that you have gained enough knowledge of your lover over the dating ritual that you understand both her size and what she likes. The closer this gift is to something your Valentine actually likes, the more important your relationship will be perceived as.
Lingerie
Lingerie and other sexy options are all common gifts during the festivities of Valentine’s Day. However, these do not come with the same personal guarantee as a skirt and blouse combo. These gifts are more often seen as a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) way to introduce intimacy into a relationship. The problem is that egocentric gifts (in other words, gifts we are basically buying ourselves) can be a hit or miss, depending on how the relationship is perceived by your partner.
Perhaps you may want to take some lingerie buying tips from Jess Impiazzi before you leap out onto this treacherously thin branch.
Homemade Hoopla
The homemade gift is often calculated by the wealth of a giver. A brown stick is only ‘a stick’ unless it is your last and only possession, and then it can be as valuable as a bar of gold. However, with enough effort, a gift created from the hand is also a creation from the heart. None-the-less, there is a point when a homemade gift can give a wrong impression.
While the Masked Booby (bird) often has great success with offering a feather picked from its own body to the lady of his choice, we all know that Van Gogh found very limited success with that same approach.
Stones (Preferably Cut and Polished)
The Adelie Penguins live in small nests made of stone. The male will traditionally get his Valentine a nice rock to enforce their bond and initiate the mating ritual. The human species is also quite fond of rocks, particularly of the sparkling 1-carat variety. Gifts of jewelry can be a symbol of love and commitment, and they also serve as a statement of a man’s ability to take care of a woman, especially if the said jewelry is still wearing its whopping price tag.
Just be aware that according to studies, most gifts are underappreciated and undervalued, so even the most expensive jewelry will not necessarily mean any more to your lover… unless she is a gold digger.
Gadgets/Appliances
Women often misinterpret the meaning behind an appliance as a gift, so I am going to attempt to salvage its thoughtfulness. Mind you, if the appliance is handed over in a brown grocery bag, then it may indeed be time to take a serious inventory of your relationship and your future happiness. However, men are more utilitarian about gift-giving than women. We see value in a gift’s usefulness, rather than its sentiment and thought value.
Believe it or not, an appliance or gadget can be just as personal as an article of clothing if you are absolutely certain that it is something she needs (or secretly wants). And it should be reciprocated with the same degree of gratitude.
Take this upcoming Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to show the woman you love (or at least mostly like), just how much you love her by demonstrating what you’ve learned about her your time together. Of course, if you have learned absolutely nothing, a box of chocolates will get you through; just don’t expect anything more than a severed ear in return.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech
Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech