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9 Modern Cars You Couldn’t Pay Us to Drive

January 8, 2019 by

A bad car is one that is ugly, boring, unbearably slow, falls apart, may possibly kill you, or revokes your status as a ‘man’ just for being seen walking out of one (or running, in our case). But such cars are only the bad ones. What about the cars that are so horrific, you couldn’t even pay us to drive?

Not even if we were paid time and a half for all the damages (both mentally and physically) would we consider driving a certain handful of modern cars. Those have got to be some incredibly bad cars, you are probably saying to yourself. Yes, they are, and these are the 10 offenders we hope never cross your driveway.

Fiat 500 

To be fair, what should we expect from a car that starts at only $16,000 brand new? And then we thought about that statement for a moment and decided that we loved ourselves too much to sell our souls so cheaply.

Dodge Nitro


To say that the Nitro may have single-handedly buried the Dodge name and almost guaranteed their eventual bankruptcy is just not true. Dodge had plenty of other reasons, such as the three hilarious trim levels you could choose for the Nitro, including the “Heat,” Detonator,” and “Shock”.

Ford Focus

Ford Focus
The Ford Focus has been on the “never buy” list of Consumer Reports since 2012, and we think that says a lot.

Mitsubishi Mirage

The Mirage is another ongoing member of Consumer Reports never buy list, but what has really captured our attention is that they are still making this car.

Dodge Journey


The advertisements say the Journey is “ready for adventure”. That sounds pretty inspiring, but what they don’t specify is that the adventure may include bad wheel bearings, bad window switches, a bad battery, bad blind spots, and a really bad resale value.

Alfa Romeo Giulia

We would not kick the Italian Giulia off our driveway for leaking a little bit of oil (she’s a looker), but when car review websites, like Jalopnik, can’t even review it properly because their review model falls apart faster than they can form an opinion – we consider that a pretty big red flag.

Smart ForTwo

There’s a lot not to like about the Smart ForTwo, including an abysmal fuel tank, abysmal seating, and abysmal transmission reliability – but when you have to sacrifice all that and not even get better gas mileage than a Toyota Prius, that’s where we draw the line.

Honda Crosstour

The looks of this car give it an automatic shun in our book. But for the folks who previously owned a Pontiac Aztec – we’d also like to add that this car is a behemoth, incredibly heavy, and serves absolutely no purpose (also reminescent of the Aztec).

Tesla Model X


Few vehicles roll off the line with as many problems as the Tesla Model X. Don’t get us wrong, we want to save the planet, but with this kind of track record for reliability, we’d rather donate our bodies to science (before we’re actually dead).

About Max

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About Max Green

Single and sexy. Hello ladies..