Guys, at least many of you, can probably relate. The dating scene sucks.
Somewhere along the way, things changed. The new rules don’t always make sense, and sometimes things are.. well, a bit too casual. So we’ve consolidated our advice to help set the record straight.
Your Dating Sucks – How To Find Happiness
For those that are done with sowing their wild oats and looking for a serious relationship, take solace in knowing she is out there, and don’t buy into the hype, or the myths of dating either. But if you’re in a relationship, and looking to cheat or score, this advice is not for the pickup artist. If that’s your goal, at least be honest about it. But if you’re after a real relationship, read on.
Even if you don’t think you have game, you still have options. Confidence is key, without being cocky, to being able to seduce women and being able to attract a suitable mate. Or in some cases, winning back an ex-girlfriend?
The Joy of First Dates
First dates are hard. If there isn’t instant chemistry, you can find yourself stumbling through. Fortunately, we have some first date advice from real women to help you with that. You’ll deal with first date issues like what to do, who should pay, what to wear, or what date movies you can survive. If money is no object (you bastards!) then take her to Vegas.
Keep in mind, there are many first date mistakes to avoid, and lots of things about women you don’t know, and that can impact your results for finding the right woman. It’s not just about being able to read her, but also sending out the right signals that flirt, without coming across as creepy, and at the same time being able to appear sexy to her.
How to Attract Women
If you’re pursuits haven’t proven successful, then finding the one for you might require a different approach. Knowing the traits women look for in a man is all part of attracting the right woman, and being a gentleman is underrated and never goes out of style. If things went further than anticipated, there’s also a right way for getting rid of a one night stand and still be a nice guy.
One thing you need to understand is the approval addiction conundrum, and how it works against you. Many women will play hard to get, it might be in their DNA, but the point is you need to put in the work. Being yourself is important, but at the same time, there is such thing as too much honesty. When going in, it’s often best to avoid pick up lines, and find common ground you can talk about.
Every guy develops their own technique, whether their aware of it or not. That is to say, if they’ve tried long enough, they’ll go with what works for them. And what works for one guy doesn’t necessarily work for everyone. Being able to take no for an answer is equally as important. Let it be known, humor and confidence go a loooooong way. We kid you not.
The First Kiss
Some women say they know everything they need to know of a man from that first kiss, but if things are going well, there’s also a number of things you should know before sex, or even that you’re a bad kisser. Don’t under estimate this, and read up on the essentials of the first kiss, along with foreplay.
For many, the bar scene is the place to meet women. Many are there to get out, socialize, sometimes hookup, and it’s a great gathering place of eligible women in one place. But have you ever considered that this might not be the place for girlfriend material? Also, the competition level is not only higher, but the amount of jerks you’re competing with also create a stigma, and this makes it that much harder (if not impossible) to prove you’re not like the rest, and just a good guy looking for a nice girl. The last thing you want is to be looking for signs to break up with her.
The Art of Seduction
If you find someone that you believe is the one, it doesn’t hurt to try and seduce her, so long as you’re sending the right signals appropriately. You need to let your feelings be known. Lord help you if you wind up in the friend zone. Once trapped in this category, it can be a real challenge to escape or get out of the friend zone.
If her friend or bestie is there, you want to focus on her as much or more as the object of your affection. This can make or break things, as it’s often the BFF that holds a deciding vote, no matter how chivalrous your might be.
It also helps to know what dating habits to ditch in order to improve your odds, so you might be able to discover deeper dating, and avoid superficial or meaningless relationships that don’t have any real potential. Don’t make it more difficult than it has to be. Avoid the dating game on hard mode, learn to give women what they want, and you’ll soon understand why most men fail at dating.
When using the web to meet women, or Tinder, it can be more difficult to figure out which women to avoid with online dating sites. Finding the best dating website for you can be a challenge, along with how to use dating sites.
Crazy Sexy Cool
Don’t go chasing waterfalls. There’s a number of women you should avoid, or you’ll end up with some needy, crazy hot lady, or psychopath. But there’s also some types of women you should date at least once. When you find the right one, you won’t have to deal with certain circumstances. If you wind up with a bad girl, proceed with caution.
Always A Gentleman
If a date isn’t going well, be a gentleman and do the right thing. Knowing how to end a horrible date properly is recommended, as you never know who she knows, and you might just burn a bridge that could impede your chances with someone else that is an acquaintance. But if this isn’t a concern, here’s some foolproof first date escapes to use.
More Than Body Language
It’s not just about body language, but also about understand what they truly mean when they say things like ‘fine’. This is not learned overnight and takes some practice. And it’s worth it, as it will help you find a great relationship that can last. Part of the journey can involve becoming a better man, and avoid doing things women hate. Take note, because this inevitably leads to sex, if you play your cards right. Of course it helps to know when she’s ready to sleep with you, and some guys fail to see the signs.
What Women Want
Should you have made it this far and still confused about what women want, we suspect you didn’t click and read. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. You need to understand the basics of seduction and dating if you’re ever going to finally have success. Put in the work, get the results you dream of. And avoid these mistakes at all costs.
To wind things up, we’ll leave you with a few thoughts;
- Be yourself
- Never buy her lingerie
- Breakfast Recipes: The Morning After
- Three Things Women Want Men to Know
Also, you should never judge a woman by her appearance, or you might just miss out on a great relationship, and that dating women out of your league can often lead to disappointment. Should you still go this route, here’s some dating advice from supermodels.
What About Happiness
You might say the above is the Urbasm playbook to dating and relationships. If you followed the curriculum (I.E. read the articles linked) then you should be that much closer the next date you go on.
There’s no fool proof method or cookie cutter solution, but you can be sure the above is a great start.
Take it from me, I’ve been there, I have the t-shirt, and I’ve felt your pain. You don’t need ‘game’. You need direction.
Which is why I wrote this. It’s based on the experience and advice of interviews with dating experts, dating coaches, as well as many of us here at Urbasm, and we collectively agree this might be some of the best advice you’ll find.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech
Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech