Men, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that most women like sex. The bad news is that 25 percent of them would rather be taking a bubble bath, according to the website, Momlogic.com.
And while you could always improve your technique with a couple months of dance lessons and a years worth of reading romance novels – I’m going to share with you a shortcut. These are the seven things that you might be doing in bed – that most women hate.
One. You Forget to Be a Gentleman
Women don’t just remember the orgasm you gave them, they also remember your ability to read their signals, be creative, ask before you try to fit objects into holes and leave us in the wet spot when it’s all over.
Two. Your Foreplay is an Hour Late and Two Hours Too Short
The sexiest foreplay ritual to most women, is a man who is not afraid to get his hands dirty. I’m talking about in the sink washing dishes and in the toilet scrubbing out hard water stains. Women do seven times as many household chores in many relationships, so if you want to impress us in bed, impress us in every other room around the house first.
Three. You Don’t Dish Out Enough Positive Dialogue
Surveys suggest that men don’t pay much attention to the flaws on a woman’s body during sex. This is a good thing. The bad thing is that the woman pays enough attention to her own flaws to fill a two-way conversation. The best way to stifle this negative dialogue is to interject enough positive compliments into the moment to remind us to just relax and have fun.
Four. You Don’t Follow Our “Schedule”
The most successful farmers follow the moon’s schedule to know when to plant and harvest their crops. Men who pay attention to their women’s monthly visits from her menstrual fairy, will know approximately when she is biologically in-tune to having great sex.
Five. You Suggest Stuff and Don’t Put Us in the Drivers Seat
The secret to discovering a wilder woman in the bed, is not to push or complain, but to suggest and let her sit in the drivers seat. Women tend to go in the opposite direction when pushed too hard, but when coaxed in the direction you want and allowed to make the final call, any idea or position will seem less threatening.
Six. You Complain in Order to Get More
It may be frustrating when you’re not getting as much sex as you’d like to be, but the worse thing you can do is complain about it. This only influences a woman to feel like a failure, leaving us about as animated as a wet noodle. Complaining has the same effect as when a woman nags, so don’t do it. Instead, refer to number five above.
Seven. You Surprise Us With Random Acts of Weirdness
There are a lot of magazine articles that consider shaking things up in bed to be the same thing as doing weird and surprising stunts. I’ve found myself balancing on my head, laying in a bath of ice… and the one thing I’ve learned is that ‘new places’ beat unusual positions any day. Adventurous is good – weird is bad.
About Pamela Causfield
I'm a digital nomad and story teller that writes for Urbasm and a few other websites on men's interests, style, relationships and whatever tickles my fancy. In my spare time I like to play the field in search of my prince, travel, and consider myself an artisan of sarcasm at times.