Locking lips for the first time can make or break what she thinks of you from then on.
Even if a date is going well, if you don’t kiss her in a way that leaves her wanting more, she’ll flick you off to the Friend Zone faster than an umpire can say, “You’re out!”
So, how DO you create a strong, romantic connection with just the right kiss?
It is accurate to say that not only is the first kiss important, but it will determine whether you get a second, third, fourth and every other kiss thereafter.
Nice guys often hear woeful kissing stories from their female friends … about their dates’ kisses being “too sloppy, too hard, too much tongue, not enough tease” and so on … So, when the time comes for some intimate face-to-face, your nerves about getting it wrong can work against you.
Here’s a fact most guys don’t know: you’ve got a built-in magic formula right in your mouth.
It’s true!
The act of kissing delivers testosterone via saliva exchange so that your date’s sexual drive is aroused.
Well, if that’s all it takes, how can you fail?
Yes, well, here’s the thing … when your engines are revving, and YOU know how nice it would be to get more physical with her, that testosterone can subliminally trick you into thinking that all you need to do is kiss her, and she’s yours. So, you rush to plant a big, wet, sloppy kiss on her, right? Wrong!
This anticipation can make kissing too forceful (she hates that) or your nerves about getting it wrong can make you too cautious (this is also a big turn-OFF for her).
Women want the kiss to be spontaneous, romantic and she wants to feel sexy! In order for you to pull this off you’ve got to be confident and keep your focus dead on her.
Kissing No-Nos
First, let’s blow those scary kissing rumours to smithereens. Here are the things she doesn’t like, particularly on a first date:
- Bad breath. Sounds obvious right? But the amount of guys that think their breath is fine when it’s no way near right is incredible. Get your oral hygiene sorted. Clean teeth and tongue. Smooth lips. If you’ve read my book “1st Date”, you’ll know there’s a section where I go into the best and cheapest way to get clean and stay clean.
- Buzz kills: phones, interruptions, distractions. A woman will usually react negatively if she doesn’t feel like you are focused on her. So, unless you’re expecting a phone call to win the Pulitzer Prize for World Peace, shut off anything that pulls your attention away from her.
Use the first date to create a connection. Relax and have fun together. You’ll start to pick up the signals if she’s ready for the next step.
- Too much tongue. Avoid coming on to her like the Swamp Monster from Mars. Serious tongue engagement is definitely not a first date activity.
- Wandering hands. Keep it innocent. If you give her any reason to think you’re about to hit it and quit it, she’ll send you packing. If your physical connection invites more than a simple kiss, hold her like she’s a valuable treasure, not some territory to conquer.
- The drive-by peck. Avoid a quick peck on the cheek, as if you’re getting a last-minute take-away snack. There’s nothing romantic about it.
So, what type of kiss should you give?
Like hitting a nice cover drive on the cricket pitch or cracking the ball down the middle on the first tee, timing is everything.
Although women like an assertive man, you still have to decide when the correct time is to be assertive; especially with a kiss. And then deliver it accordingly. It needs to be executed with absolute confidence on your behalf.
The nice boy nerves won’t turn a girl on. There are reasons bad boys get their girl, and one big reason is because of their ability to actually hide their nerves and appear unshakably confident. I give you ALL the strategies a super confident guys uses and how you can too here in my free eBook, “Meet, Date & Attract the Women You Want”
NOW TO THAT KISS
Start with eye contact. You can test she wants to kiss you by leaning in just close enough
She’ll back off if she’s not interested—or—if she is, she’ll meet you for this kiss.
Just lips (no tongues).
Not too much pressure, but not hesitant or wimpy either (remember, she’ll HATE that!).
Keep the first one short enough so when you pull away she wants more, but long enough so you make the intimate connection that confirms for her that she wants you.
Don’t rush, as if the kissing is the green light for you to take things further; just enjoy kissing for the fun of kissing her.
At this point, it could go two ways. More kissing … or, winding up the date by looking forward to your next get-together.
Like a great comedian, it’s best if you leave her wanting more. So, IF (and I must emphasise the IF at this point) you’ve exchanged a sweet, sensuous, innocent enough, passionate enough kiss—leave that feeling on her lips, and wish her good night.
Women love a bit of mystery just as much as you.
This post has been featured by dating expert for men, and author, Erica Black
About Dr. Eric J. Leech
Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech