Listen up men, Mom’s Day is coming up. You know, that one time of the year, beyond birthdays and anniversaries, that you better get right. Don’t worry, we’re here to help you. If you want to play it safe, get mom some flowers and an e-card (oops, sorry I forgot card). It’s a sure thing, just like last year, and the one before that.
Or you could always upgrade to a lame Snuggie blanket, paper card, bath salts, “Love You Mom” jewelry that will turn her arm green, and a photo frame you picked up at the drug store. Nothing says I birthed a cheap ass son, like any of these gifts.
However, if you want to maintain your manly essence, we suggest you show up with a bottle of Maker’s Mark Bourbon and a couple of steaks. Or, here’s an even better idea…
If you’re thinking about taking mom out for her special day, how about a trip to the spa for a facial and pedi? A real man is comfortable enough with his sexuality to not even blink or think twice about accompanying her. Plus, there’s always the possibility of getting a phone number for a hot hookup later. You’ll never find a better wingman than mom.
Maybe there’s something you can do for mom that she missed out, such as a special trip or bachelorette party. The point is, there are things she never got to do, because she was busy keeping you out of trouble, and now that you’re all grow’d up, you can make one of those forgotten dreams come true.
Won’t she be surprised when you hand her a card full of George Washington’s and push her into a limo with a batch of her best friends?
We love you, Mom!
About Dr. Eric J. Leech
Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech