While we do like Kevin Bacon. Today’s post is not about him.
Well, not really.
This statue is made of bacon (bits) to look like Bacon. The artist claimed he had uncontrollable cravings for the stuff the entire time he was sculpting it. Can’t say we blame him. In fact, we’d like to see a whole lot more of bacon.
Have you ever thought about all the other wonderful things you could make with bacon. Such as a Halloween mask.
Gingerbacon-House. Although, we’d skip the ginger, and just go with some extra hickory flavoring.
How about a military firearm, capable of firing up to 1000 bacon bits per minute?
This is what we call, make’n bacon…
Don’t forget to lube up before you play…
You actually have two choices of lube.
…But keep it safe.
Bacon porn kind of makes you horny, doesn’t it?
Which brings up a question…
Which bacon sandwich is better?
This one?
Or this one?
ANSWER:
Who cares?!?!
Bacon always wins.
Don’t forget the Baconaisse.
And a bacon soda to wash it down.
Or bacon beer.
Bacon vodka.
You haven’t had a good bloody mary, if you’ve never accented it with bacon salt.
From our standpoint, we feel the world would be a better place if we could all learn to just love one another, by eating more bacon.
In fact, bacon may have been used as a vessel for Jesus. Just check out this frying pan. It’s a sign!
Bacon gives the people something to believe in.
However, as with all declarations of the people, a few rules must apply to keep order within society:
Bacon is a trendy fashion statement.
That one is fabric… Here’s the real deal. Bacon Man?
How about a tie to go with that?
Works for the ladies, too!
Hey honey, guess what time it is?
Nothing says I love bacon like a permanent tattoo.
Bacon tramp stamp.
Hey buddy, you do know that’s not coming off, don’t you?
You can make a bikini contest out of it… and everybody goes home a winner.
Red Bull won’t give you wings. But Bacon will.
The force is strong with bacon!
How do we like our bacon cooked?
Extra FOXY!
Bacon can get you women… Men’s Health even says so!
Bacon can be romantic, like a poem.
A bouquet of bacon.
Hell, forget women. You only have room for one true love in your life.
Bacon can even be good for your hygiene with a little creativity.
And this…
Soap.
Cologne.
Need some bacontherapy? Try an air freshener.
Enjoy the olfactory pleasures of bacon all night with a scented candle.
Or bacon tree for your car.
Why stop there?
Do you suppose the bacon floss would put little bits of bacon between your teeth, or remove them?
Have bacon will travel…
As long as there a plug is nearby, you never have to worry about going without.
Need a getaway car, to go get some bacon?
You getting hungry yet?
How about a snack. We’ve got cookies.
Cupcakes.
Sushi.
tacos.
And we honestly have no idea what this is… but it involves some kind of bacon and cheese, so count us in!
However, we don’t recommend canned bacon. It loses its crispness during the canning process.
Here’s a great recipe for bacon popcorn.
Ingredients:
1/2 cup bacon grease
3/4 cup unpopped popcorn kernels
1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt, or to taste
3 tablespoons bacon bits (optional)
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese (optional)
Directions:
1. Measure the bacon grease into a 6 quart pot and place over high heat.
2. Add the popcorn and cover with a lid.
3. Shake the pan back and forth to keep the popped kernels from burning.
4. When the popping slows down, remove the pan from the heat and let it finish popping.
5. Season with half of the seasoned salt, and toss with bacon bits and shredded cheddar.
And I’d hate to tell you this, but yo’ wallet ain’t “fat,” unless it’s made of bacon.
Have you ever been hungry, and weren’t sure if you should eat bacon? Well, here’s your answer.
If you’re in a hurry, try this simplified version:
If you feel like you’re the only one in the world who loves bacon. You are not alone. The Boston Bacon & Beer Festival is an annual event for guys just like us.
What’s not to love about bacon… it is salty, sweet, juicy, smokey, and damn good!.
So, the next time you’re in the grocery store, don’t forget the bacon.
This ought to help you remember…
Want more artery clogging ideas?
… But just don’t over do it
About Dr. Eric J. Leech
Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.