In today’s world of emotional and politically correct nonsense, many of man’s biggest questions have been left unsaid, unanswered, unrepresented, and just plain flat unaccounted for. It is these questions that men really want to know. We don’t care how many trees it takes to energize a light bulb, we’d rather how many sexual deviants it would take to screw one in. It doesn’t matter what the kilowatt force is behind an atomic bomb, we’d rather know the cataclysmic force behind a bean burrito with chili.
With that said, let the infogasm begin:
On a ratio of size… which animal’s “peppy” is considered the most and the least impressive?
Answer: The smallest tackle belongs to the shrew at 0.2 inches, and the largest to the blue whale at more than 6.5 feet (keep in mind, that’s some pretty cold water).
Runner-up: The runners-up go to the Gorilla with his paltry two inches, and the Rhinoceros with a harem-pleasing two feet.
What’s the shortest male erection ever recorded?
Answer: 1.75 inches, and that was the guy who was willing to come in to the Kinsey Institute to be measured—Imagine the guy who was too embarrassed!
What are some of the most common items found underneath roller coaster tracks?
Answer: According to operators, besides the typical wallets, change, and keys… you would also find glass eyes, fake legs, false teeth and an ever-amazing number of bras—and I thought I was having fun on these things!
What is probably the most stupid sport in participation today?
Answer: One answer would certainly have to be chess boxing. Two components duke it out for six rounds in a boxing ring, while playing chess in between rounds. A checkmate or getting ‘checked out’ (knockout) is the preferred method of victory.
Runner-up: Extreme Ironing is the combination of ironing your favorite pair of underwear while performing your favorite sport (four-wheeling, scuba diving, rock climbing—you get the idea).
How much marijuana would it take to kill an average-sized man?
Answer: It couldn’t happen—It would be impossible to overdose once you lose all motor control, which includes the capability of holding the bud to your mouth. In other words, passing out at a party and waking up wearing a diaper and baby bonnet is the body’s way of saying, you over did it, so now I’m going to knock you out before you do anymore damage to yourself.
Could a man’s flatulence ever create the equivalent energy as an atomic bomb?
Answer: Absolutely. If a man farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months straight and released it upon the earth’s surface along with a lit match, its properties would theoretically contain the same devastating capabilities of a weapon of mass destruction.
And finally…
How many sexual deviants would it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it would take the entire cast of “Grey’s Anatomy” to get it back out… (Badum-dumb)
About Dr. Eric J. Leech
Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech