There are six main personality types that seem to make-up almost any poker table that you will ever encounter during online play. Which one you happen to be and the various ones you are competing against is one of the most important things to be able to identify. It will most certainly give you an edge over the other players, especially the weekend amateurs who do not pay attention to such things as they are too busy focusing on their own cards to notice anything else.
Using this information you can size up your competition and estimate to a reasonable accuracy the quality of their hand and the moves they will be most inclined to make. At the same time you can identify your own personality type and create strength through your weakness by keeping your tendencies moderated to an unidentifiable pattern. It is once your opponent is unsure of where you are and the capabilities of your hand that they will become unsure of their own ability and allow you to dominate the table and own the pot!
These are the general poker personalities at a glance; see if you can identify yourself:
1. The Loose and Aggressive Red Faced Huffer Puffer
This poker player can be a challenge due to the fact that it’s hard to tell if they have a strong hand or are just bluffing their way to the pot. While skill is on their side, they are not particularly strategic poker players in general because they allow their emotions to get the best of them and make foolhardy decisions on the fly. You can brush these bullies off your heightened radar; their loose philosophy of play shall forever keep them from causing any real damage at the table.
2. The Tight and Passive, Anal Core Diamond Miner
This poker player is never reckless; their greatest fear is losing their shirt (or pants for that matter). They are relatively cautious players; focusing on only that of their own money and hand. Rarely will they take the initiative to raise the stakes at the table and this is what signifies them most as a weak and passive player. Not only can they be easily bluffed, but their actions and habits are so incredibly predictable, you could almost play their hands for them.
3. The Crap in their Brain has Crap for Brains
This is the easiest poker player to deal with because they are always relatively easy to defeat. That is of course unless a little “luck” comes their way, which will happen from time to time. But hey, every dog should have their day; even the dumb ones. The crap for brain player folds when they have a weak hand and calls when they have a strong hand; what more could a poker player ask of such an unworthy opponent?
4. The Tight and Aggressive Loan Shark with an Overbite
This is a relatively good poker player, but they are not yet an expert at reading their opponents. Because of this fact, they spend most of their time trying to strategically bully their opponents away from the pot. More strategic than the red faced huffed puffer, they do however have a very similar style of play. They are fun players to have at your table as you can always count on them to keep the action rolling; especially when their hand has a little more bite than bark.
5. The Tight, Passive-Aggressive, and Testosterone-Injected Tree Sloth
This poker player is the most experienced and hardest to beat. They are usually able to get a good read on those at the table with the crap for brains and diamonds cooking in their rear. They will never hesitate to go after the other aggressive players at the table when their hand is on their side, but will just as easily back down when their chances of winning are slim. This is one case in the game of online poker where brain actually meets brawn.
6. The Loose, Loaded, and Bloated Space Jockey
This is the next easiest poker player to defeat from that of old crap for brains. They always have plenty of money to burn, and only so much time to offer it up to everyone at the table. So use your time with them wisely. This player actually seems to play without strategy on purpose; it is almost as if they are begging you to take their money so they won’t have to cash in before the night is through. It’s from these people that the words “easy money” first got its name.
The key now is to take any one of these online personalities and create a stronger online player using what we know. Just as in life, moderation usually holds your greatest chance to health and achievement. Most any decent player knows that really good hands only come every so often, so an overly wild player will be sized up almost immediately, and the same goes for overly cautious players. You must build your image as a strong player who plays both moderately and strategically; this will buy you the most pots.
We also know that as human beings we are all guilty of racism to some degree, and by this I am referring to gender, looks, and/or background. We think we know how a person is going to react to certain situations simply by what group they are placed. You can use this to your advantage by choosing an online character or name that is the exact opposite of you (betro-sexual). This tactic will usually at least buy you some more time until the swifter bunch at the table gets a grasp of your personality and betting style.
This is, after all, a game that relies just as much on a good offense as it does a good defense. Watch your cards, your opponents, your opponent’s cards, and of course yourself. You’re going to want to mix it up if you want to avoid being pegged as a single personality category, and I’m not just talking about the above mentioned categories… but also the ultimate category of a ‘loser’; void of heart, soul, and… SHIRT!
(Photo via Cardplayer.com)
About Dr. Eric J. Leech
Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech