What a person says has been found to say a lot about who a person is. Well, if this be the case then there are a gaggle of high profile celebrities out there who are living proof of the lack of brain power that is really necessary to make it big today. Ever wonder what is on the minds of these award winning idols on a typical day? Well, wonder no more, as we take you behind the scenes of some of the greatest celebrity sex quotes of the past decade.
“I did not have implants; I just had a growth spurt.”
—Britney Spears
(Yes Britney, that’s great, but we’re not talking about your butt.)
“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
—Jack Nicholson
(Good old Jack has always had a way with women and his mother is no different. This is a whole new angle to the classic celebrity phrase, “I love you Mom!” Except this one says more like, “F-U Bi-atch!”)
“People should be very free with sex… they should draw the line at goats.”
—Elton John
(I find it particularly interesting that he did not just use the word, “animals.” Perhaps he’s against goats because one kicked the toupee off the top of his head once during the throws of passion.)
“If you eat right and you exercise and you get breast implants, you can look like us.”
—Gena Lee Nolin
(Now there’s a slogan for our youth today!)
“If I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That’s a good-looking mommy.”
—Bill Clinton
(This one speaks for itself, I think.)
“Platypus… I thought it was pronounced platy-ma-puss. Has it always been pronounced platypus?”
—Jessica Simpson
(Silly Jessica, these are two different things and if you don’t know the difference between a marsupial and your Friday night usual, you’d best stay on your back and leave the rest of the work to a qualified sex toy.)
“If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.”
—Cyndi Lauper
(She must have teamed up with Jessica Simpson and put some really deep, heavy, and profound brain things into this one.)
“I never get bored because there’s always different puzzles, I’m wearing different clothes, there’s different contestants, there’s different prizes.”
—Vanna White
(And you would also probably be entertained watching three flies fornicate on the bald head of a geriatric gentleman in an old person’s home.)
“When you say I committed adultery, are you stating before the marriage of 1996 or prior to?”
—Deion Sanders, Dallas Cowboys
(Yes Deion, I think they are talking about some lady you screwed over in a past-life, so you must be in the clear!)
“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media writes as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”
—Donald Trump
(Stick that in your over-sized butt crack Rosie O’Donnell, he could care less what you call him so don’t even waste your time anymore. He can’t hear you anyway entrenched in doing the motorboat between his current Mrs. Trump’s boobs.)
And there you have it. We can’t wait to see what the next decade of brainful celebrity insight will leave us!
About Dr. Eric J. Leech
Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech