It’s time to roll out that red carpet and play “Name that Celebrity.” There have been a lot of celebs that have embarrassed themselves this past year and quite frankly it has been difficult to keep up with all the scandals and allegations going on. So difficult in fact, we have developed a little game to test your knowledge of these bad boys and girls of Hollywood. Read through each alleged scandal and do your best to choose which celeb(s) was the brunt of the action being described. Depending on your personal view of celebrity gossip, the best score may either be low or high. Grade and award smiley and frowny faces accordingly…
1. Which celebrity has had a hard time keeping her “kitty” in her underwear… or should I rather say lack of underwear?
A. Paris Hilton
B. Britney Spears
C. Lindsay Lohan
D. All the above mentioned ho’s!
2. This dust-farting, aging hunk of yesteryear dropped his towel in front of a masseuse during his second honeymoon; bringing the indication of an almost certain third one in the making…
A. Clint Eastwood
B. Kevin Costner
C. Wesley Snipes
D. Ozzy Osborne
3. Which one of these television celebs has NOT yet had a sex tape released over the Internet?
A. Paris Hilton
B. Dustin Diamond (Screech from ‘Saved by the Bell’)
C. Mario Lopez (also from ‘Saved by the Bell’)
D. Tickle Me Elmo
4. Which jerk-o**… (err, I don’t want to give this one away), I mean, male celebrity expressed his disappointments in sex with Mandy Moore as not being quote: “like warm apple pie?”
A. Bam Margera
B. Zach Braff
C. Howard Stern
D. Wilmer Valderrama
5. Her pathetic kissing session with Ryan Seacrest disproved the whole frog to a prince theory when the prince (unsurprisingly) turned out a princess. Who is this ‘kiss and show’ starlet?
A. Terri Hatcher
B. Eva Longoria
C. Queen Latifah
D. Rosie O’ Donnell
6. This celebrity best friend trio has brought speculations of more than just bongo’s being banged behind their closet doors. Name this famous Hollywood trio?
A. Lance Bass, Neil Patrick Harris and Ryan Seacrest
B. Lance Armstrong, Mathew McConaughey and Jake Gyllenhaal
C. Michael Scott, Steve Carell and Jim Carey
D. Leonardo DiCaprio, Clay Aiken and T.R. Knight
7. It… was… an… itsy bitsy, teenie weenie; wish it undisclosed bikini… that she wore on Oprah that day. An itsy bitsy, teenie weenie, thighs showed that she’s eat’n Linguini; so in her dressing room, we wished she had stayed… Two, three, four, choose a celeb or I’ll sing some more…
A. Oprah Winfrey herself
B. Rosanne Barr
C. Vito (from the Sopranos)
D. Kirstie Alley
8. Which blunt and honest celebrity caused a stir when they blurted, “I don’t know about Brad Pitt; leaving that beautiful wife to go hold orphans for Angelina!” during an interview with GQ?
A. Alec Baldwin
B. Rosie O’Donnell
C. Michael Douglas
D. David Letterman
9. What Hollywood marriage ended rather abruptly this past year when a private screening depicted a scene that initiated the (truthful) words, “slut… whore” from her soon to be ex-husband’s mouth?
A. Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson
B. Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra
C. Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards
D. Kevin Federline and Britney Spears
10. Which music celebrity was quoted as putting out a purposeful crap album out so that, “when I come out with my real s***, people are blown away?”
A. R. Kelly
B. Paris Hilton
C. Kevin Federline
D. Kanye West
Answer Key:
1. Answer: D
It is truly amazing the loss of appetite a few strokes of a blunt razor can promote.
2. Answer: B
Was it the irritable bowel in Kevin Costner’s towel, or was she just not happy to see him!
3. Answer: C
Mario Lopez may be gearing his fans up with a little bare buns action on “Nip/Tuck” this season, but he has yet to have bared it all with an exploitative sex video… yet, being the keyword here. To all you curly headed nerds of the nation; if “Screech” can get some, anyone can!
4. Answer: D
Mandy Moore is probably really starting to regret this quote taken several months before Wilmer’s interview with Howard Stern: “I think people make him (Wilmer) out to be this crazy ladies’ man… but he’s such a gentleman.” Yes, Mandy… he’s indeed a true gentleman.
5. Answer: A
Terri Hatcher may have great taste in award ceremony attire, mainly that blue lacy number at the 2006 Grammy’s, but her taste in men sure leaves something to be desired.
6. Answer: B
Lance, Matt and Jake may deny the accusations, but those toothsome grins tell a different story!
7. Answer: D
Kirstie Alley may have lost 75 pounds, but I think this is just one of those things that are better left said than seen! Don’t get me wrong; I commend her achievement, but some peoples “junk in the trunk” should stay under lock and key!
8. Answer: C
Michael Douglas later denied this comment; stating that he and Brad are but the best of friends. Well Michael, friends don’t let friend’s tote around their girlfriend’s orphans in Africa… you were right the first time!
9. Answer: A
Sadly, this is something that 90% of the world could have told Kid Rock about Pamela Anderson four months before he plunged into ‘mattress-monial’ bliss.
10. Answer: C
There could be no other idiot stupid enough to quote himself as being an even bigger idiot than we already thought he was!
About Dr. Eric J. Leech
Eric has written for over a decade. Then one day he created Urbasm.com, a site for every guy.
About Dr. Eric J. Leech